My Opinion on Blended Families’ Finances
~ Tuesday, October 31, 2023 Blog Post
I just want to comment on MarketWatch’s latest article titled, “How yours and mine becomes ours: Navigating finances in blended families.” I grew up coming from a nuclear family, that is, my parents and older sister.
But I understand the financial challenges blended families often have. I agree they do have more problems than nuclear clans. I have cousins, friends, and former classmates who have and who come from blended families.
It is common for family finance management to be a major cause of divorce. From the MarketWatch article, I gathered that remarried couples don’t possess a particular agenda for money management, even if 66 percent have issues over unpaid bills, settlements, or debt obligations.
Additionally, I learned from the article that the more members a blended family has, the more complex their financial problems are. I think this reality is rampant, especially among Dads who fathered many children. Financial expert Mikel Van Cleve cited that blended families involve “more emotions to muddy the waters and financial harmony of the family.”
The “bucket” approach is a recommended measure mentioned in the MarketWatch article. This solution for managing blended families’ finances involves a bucket or a joint account for household expense management. Each partner will also have a separate container for expenditures like child-related expenses, previous financial obligations, and past debts.
I understand that blended families are the norm in the 21st century. Children are dependent on their parents for sustenance. From infancy to aged 21 or after they finish college, they are usually financially reliant on their parents who are obliged to help them.
It is expensive to raise children. Nevertheless, none of them deserves to suffer financial neglect caused by their mother or father. In my view, divorced or separated parents should be financially ready to support their children, especially if the latter are school-aged or infants.
I have encountered divorced or separated parents who are unable to provide financial support to their children, who then become distressed due to their parents’ financial incapacity or irresponsibility.
I support governments that penalize parents, especially absentee fathers, who are unable to provide for their children financially once their marriage or relationship to their children’s mother ceases. Since these irresponsible parents have their offspring as their obligations, I find them deserving of jail time or fine as the appropriate punishment.
Moreover, I support mothers who file child support complaints against irresponsible fathers. Again, children are helpless, and they have the prerogative to receive financial support from their separated or divorced mother and father until they graduate from college, get a job, and be able to support themselves financially.
Offspring’s needs also increase as they grow. Thus, parents in blended family scenarios should be financially prepared for these realities. They should take responsibility for their family members, regardless if they are in a family setup that can be quite complicated, especially financially.
Article: How yours and mine becomes ours: Navigating finances in blended families (From MarketWatch)
By Brian Page, October 30, 2023
Managing the family finances is a leading cause of divorce. If nuclear families can’t get along when it comes to money, is it really a surprise that a blended family often has even more challenges?
“The additional outside forces such as ex-spouses and the biases and heightened emotions brought into the relationship from prior failed relationships can make managing money in a blended family especially hard,” financial expert Mikel Van Cleve says. Van Cleve, currently a Ph.D. student at the Texas Tech University School of Financial Planning, focuses on how blended families manage money. He adds: “No decision is simple, especially when kids are involved.”
I attended the most recent Financial Therapy Association Conference, where Van Cleve and a fellow Texas Tech University Ph.D. student, Ashley McWhorter Keamo presented their academic research on this topic. They emphasized that blended families can come in various forms — one spouse having kids from a prior relationship(s), both spouses having children from previous relationships, and possibly having a child(ren) together. Each form presents unique challenges.
The National Survey of Remarried Couples found that 73% of remarried couples do not have a specific plan for money management, even though 66% have concerns over unpaid bills, debts, or settlements. This corresponds with what we hear time and again at Modern Husbands: couples don’t talk about money or they don’t know how, despite facing financial difficulties.
The foundation of any successful financial plan is open communication. From the outset, it’s crucial for all parties involved to discuss their financial expectations, goals, and concerns. This includes transparency about income sources, debts and any pre-existing financial commitments.
This is particularly important for blended families, Van Cleve says, because “The more people, generally, the more complicated — and the more emotions to muddy the waters and financial harmony of the family.”
One successful approach for managing money in a blended family is a “bucket” approach. Perhaps one bucket is a joint account for managing household expenses, while each partner has a separate bucket for expenses such as past debts, previous financial obligations and child-related expenses.
Brian Page is co-host of the Modern Husbands Podcast and founder of Modern Husbands, which helps couples manage money and the home and offers “Money Marriage U,” online courses that provide financial therapy and financial planning lessons.
Modern Husbands is hosting a virtual discussion for subscribers on Nov. 7 with Mikel Van Cleve and Financial Therapy Association President Ed Coambs. Click here to subscribe to the event.
Sources and references:
https://www.ldstrategies.com/how-do-you-split-estate-in-a-blended-family/
